Fuck Inappropriate

Have you notice how the word inappropriate for women is like the race card for us black people. This is a word that only women are allowed to use to stop conversations. I think many men can attest to this as many had conversations with our lady friends and sometimes we get carried away and we compliment them. This was a typical conversation of this nature between a friend of mine (Michael) and his lady friend Thandi:

Michael: Why did you delete me from bbm

Thandi: Hi lol, I dnt have a bb anymore

Michael: last night this guy swore at me because I said you hav nice legs.

Thandi: What?

Michael: I re-invited you and made that comment.

Thandi: Lol. Shame.

Michael: The guy was talking about shooting me.

Thandi: Lol! Hahaha

Michael: But honestly you have a really nice body. So is that your bf?

Thandi: Tx, my bf sold my phone not sure who the person is

Michael: Lol I am gonna delete him from bbm now. I kept him just in case he is your bf and you have to give answers

Thandi: Lol, yip! Answers?

Michael: I did it just in case he is jealous and were thinking I am pissing on his territory

Thandi: lol

Michael: I don’t want to fight a guy, so I staying off the radar when it comes to other guys gfs.

Thandi: That's good!

Michael: Don’t make a mistake I am not scared. Sometimes it is just too much effort.

Thandi: Lol.

Michael: By the way if I want to I will make a move on you but I do not want to. First you have you academics, secondly, it will take convincing and thirdly maybe you bf has a gun

Thandi: Lol, not 2 b rude, but this whole conversation is inappropriate!!!!

Michael: Sorry! Got carried away.

Thandi: Cool

What astonished me was how Thandi could label this conversation as inappropriate. From a man’s perspective this was clearly a compliment. Michael clearly respects the friendship between him and Thandi hence he considers her academics and her boyfriend. So much for a compliment.

However, women do not consider instances where they are inappropriate. For example, when they go to the gym or to a club almost naked. The funny part is that most men find this distracting in the gym and very serious safety implications for men. Let us take the gym for example. I visit the gym on a very regular basis. If you do not watch your surroundings in the gym you can get seriously injured. I usually ensure my surroundings are safe before I start with a particular exercise because that was one the many things that was drilled into my mind when I was in the army.

The other day it just so happen that a gorgeous girl with the nicest booty and the smallest piece of clothing was doing an exercise in front of the machine I was preparing to start on. While looking at her booty I started but I did not notice the steel bar above my head. So with the first pull the bar hit me BANG on the head. The bar hit me so hard that I was disorientated for a while. To be honest I was mad at her because she was inappropriately dressed for the gym but the moment you tell them that you are labelled sexist and to mind your own business. No sane grown man will look away if a woman with almost no clothing is standing with her back to you. So much for telling the truth.

So if I cannot use the word inappropriate when it is really necessary, when can I use it? The answer is never. As a man it will never have the desired effect on women as it has on men. It is like white people using the ‘race card’. A white person who calls a black person racist would have no effect but if you reverse the roles it will have the desired effect. This brings us to a fundamental truth about these two words which is guilt. White people screwed up during apartheid and men have been screwing up during the ages. Men have and are still abusing women. Men, for so long, have made sexual objects of women and with feminist movement and the awareness campaigns on women rights, more women have the power to cut themselves lose from any kind of inappropriate behaviour from men. So the word inappropriate is the ‘race card’ for women.

However, there is another truth that we need to consider; I realise that some women uses this when they feel guilty about a compliment. So let us take my earlier example of Thandi and Michael. A dear friend of mine once said this about women: A woman will do anything if the right guy asks her. This is why you can have really inappropriate conversations with some women. Have you ever wondered why you can have the dirtiest conversation with one woman even though you both know you are in relationships? This is the reason why: A woman will do anything if the right guy asks. As a guy have you ever wondered why a girl would giggle if you made a really inappropriate, let alone offensive, comment such as 'Girl you have a phat ass', and like it. The reason is simple: A woman will do anything if the right guy asks.

Likely, I happen to know Thandi very well as we have spoken about her family, friends, and boyfriend, brother, career options and academics. Thandi used to stay in the same corridor as my girlfriend. I also used to sleep, eat and stay over a lot at my girlfriend’s place a lot. This allowed me to noticed Thandi patterns, social habits and friendship circle. One morning as I left my girlfriends’ room to take a shower I saw one of Thandi’s girlfriends’ male friends leaving her place. It was around six. Me and the dude saluted each other and it was clear he got some last night. What made things interesting was that she was in a relationship with another guy. This means that Thandi inappropriately behave that night.

So when Michael gave her this compliment she could have felt guilty about her past experience. Maybe she and the one night stand got their freak on after a social network conversation and maybe she really liked the dude and he treated her bad hence she labelled Michael as a women abuser. Or Michael is not the guy she would do anything for, even if it means cheating on her boyfriend. So boys, the next time a girl tell you that you are inappropriate after you gave her a compliment, please tell her that she has a phat ass because then she has reason to feel your comment was inappropriate.